I See Rude People: One Woman's Battle to Beat Some Manners into Impolite Society

Earlier today, Emma and I had a conversation about rude people…and how unpleasant it is to be in around them! Turns out this gal feels our pain, because she took it a step further and wrote a book about it.

And for an added treat, please read this excerpt from one of her advice columns. It is hilarious!

Q: I just started hanging out with a woman I was good friends with in high school. To my shock and dismay, she now has a mustache! She has dark hair but wears glasses — maybe she can't see it herself. I don't feel close enough to her to say something, but she's recently divorced and about to start dating, so maybe I should anyway ... but how? — Hair-ified

A: Maybe slip it into conversation. You know, "Why did the caterpillar cross your upper lip? Wait ... he isn't crossing ... it seems he's injured or dead!" OK, that would be mean — but nowhere near as mean as all those friends of hers refusing to endure the few moments of conversational discomfort it would take to clue her in. Sorry, make that supposed friends, because if you're actually this woman's friend ... HOW DO YOU LET HER GO AROUND WITH VISIBLE FACIAL HAIR?!

We'll assume she isn't mustachioed because waxing would kill her chances with the circus. And unless she lifted her arm and you spotted cornrows, she's probably one of those women with the unfortunate combination of fine, dark hairs and vision issues — causing her to be in the dark about her desperate need to mow. In addition to wrecking her chances with any guy whose feminine ideal isn't Tom Selleck, every single person who ever talks to her is thinking only one thing: "She's got a mustache, she's got a mustache, omigod, she's got a mustache."

It's a mission of mercy, letting a fur-lipped woman know. You could take her for a girls-getting-their-nails-done session, then suggest she join you in the two-for-one lip wax (a nonexistent special prearranged by you). There's also the gentle mention — "Did you know you have the faintest line of hair just above your lip?" (Even if it's "faint" like the African bush.) If neither of those work, there's always tricking her into it: "Let's play a game — it's called 'let's put adhesive tape on our upper lips and pull!'"